No Rest for the Wicked
by Yu-tan
Summary: Tales of the Abyss The shallow illusion of security comes apart when follies of the past come back with a vengeance for Jade. But with the inevitable unwinding comes an unexpected comfort- and his final revelation.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimers: Tales of the Abyss is owned by Bandai-Namco

Warnings/Notes: Peony/Jade, Character death

Belkend Labs

Jade sighed, leaning back in the high backed chair, taking his eyes off the scattered documents. Ever since he returned to the army- actually, to the R&D division of the Fomicry Research Department, most of his work occurred at a desk or in the labs. It was an acceptable tradeoff, aside from the headaches. He wasn't as young as he used to be either.

He set down his glasses, fingers gently pressed against his eyelids, trying to will away the dull, pounding pain. It was at that unfortunate minute he was graced with a surprise visitor.

"Jade! I found your hiding place, so you have to come with me now," Peony called cheerfully as he entered, looking the most carefree since the relations with Kimlasca were finally settled and the world began to reform its shaky partnerships. The fact his typical royal entourage was absent also helped. "Huh? Are you okay, Jade?"

"No, because you're sitting on my desk, and my glasses were on it," He replied coolly, blinking slowly in the weak light of his office. Now he knew what the quiet snapping noise had been when Peony sat down.

"Oh… Ah well, you didn't really need those right? Only to focus the…whatever you did to your eyes," Peony replied, staring anxiously into his friend's face regardless.

"Yes… of course," Jade lied easily, reluctant to admit the moments where his vision blurred dangerously- but he merely marked it as stress since the lab medic couldn't discern a problem. He supposed Peony was trying to blend in with his Malkuthian civilian clothes, stripped of any royal crests, but unfortunately anyone not in a lab coat stood out in Belkend.

"How is the situation in Grand Chokmah?" Jade asked as he slipped off the immaculate white labcoat, hanging it over his chair. He looked more or less as innocuous as Peony- just two old friends out for lunch.

"The same as always. More envoys to talk to, more ambassadors to host, more parties to attend, more disputes over the lack of an heir-"

"And whose fault is that?" Jade asked wryly, as they stepped out into the sunlight, making his eyes water immediately with pain. Its getting worse, he thought, as they proceeded to the nearby bar.

"I am a late bloomer!" Peony insisted, laughing easily at himself. "I don't know actually. They all act as if I'm suppose to have seven children by now, on top of saving the empire from ruin _and_ avoiding the imminent death foretold in the score," he said with mock indignance.

"Respectfully, that was more our doing, your highness, what with stopping Van and freeing Lorelei-"

"But obviously, it was my sheer awesomeness that diverted destiny," he said mildly, "And for the last time, don't use the damn title,"

Jade couldn't help but laugh at his 30-something friend pouting at something so small as that. "Of course, of course," he conceded, taking a seat at the end of the bar. "I want to congratulate you on managing to slip away from official business, but then that would make me the enabler,"

Peony waved his hand dismissively, ordering his drink. "I deserve a break," he said stubbornly. "And so do you."

"So, why _haven't_ you found someone?" Jade inquired, quickly changing the subject and not just a little curious over the perpetual bachelor state of his friend.

"I guess I don't have the time," he replied off handedly, not particularly interested in this topic.

Not one to be easily deterred from information that would either provide leverage or entertainment, Jade pressed on. "That's nonsense. Your aides would have set up someone after a certain point if you didn't give express orders not to. So tell me, why not? If you can literally have anyone-"

"Because maybe I can't have just anyone," Peony offered with a shrug, draining his glass.

"Because you already have someone in mind? Is it my sister?"

"No!" Peony looked taken aback, but not as much as Jade, which brought him a little satisfaction. "She found her future, and if it wasn't with me, then I can let it go. So what if it took the better part of a decade," he said, scowling a little. "What about you Jade? You must have given it some thought," he said, grinning. "You're human too."

Jade laughed, examining the half inch of amber liquid in his glass. "Some people would debate that statement, Peony," He said, several coming to mind almost immediately. "And yes, I have given it some thought. Once the first stage of the Replica Stabilization Project has been fulfilled, I'd like to retire,"

"When is the first stage slated to be completed anyway?"

"Well, with the current statistics… fifteen years if we work fast," Jade answered, finding nothing wrong with that. Peony didn't share the sentiment.

"Fifteen years, Jade? Of working around the clock? Also, don't try to deny it, most of the other lab technicians aren't sure you eat _or_ sleep. You'll ruin your health this way-"

Too late, Jade was about to say, but held himself back, as he was not the type to have a tongue loosened by alcohol. It was merely a convenient way to relax while enjoying company. Peony just shook his head at Jade's lack of response, putting an end to the topic.

"At least promise to visit soon- the spring social season is about to begin, and if I have to entertain one more conversation about 'the replica problem' or 'the sub-citizen movement' I might lose it and waste a drink on someone's head."

So, Jade promised and they closed their night with a final round, before heading their separate ways, unaware of the future to come.


	2. Chapter 2

6 months later

Grand Chokmah- Port

He had to shield his eyes from the fierce light as he stepped off the ferry onto the familiar port of Malkuth's capital. The migraines had reached an uncomfortable frequency and strong light merely exacerbated the pain. But the call from the capital had been urgent enough to warrant immediate departure, so he endured it. Waiting for him (he assumed) was a young blond Malkuthian noble-better known as the same Guy Cecil from their extended journey together in the past.

"Hey," he said easily, jogging over to the former Colonel. "The Emperor sends his regrets; he is occupied with a minor emergency at the palace,"

"I thought my reason being here was due to a major emergency," Jade asked, not unhappy to see an old comrade. Everyone had gone their separate ways at the end, he was no different. But it was strangely comforting to see Guy standing there, more or less his usual self. Guy held both a youthful jubilance and a very mature gravitas that Jade had come to respect, after the full history behind Guy's lineage was revealed.

"About that…" Guy smiled sheepishly as they walked the familiar avenues together, "Peony is granting you mandatory shore leave,"

"I'm only paramilitary now, we don't-"

Guy shrugged and Jade heard the unsaid words loud and clear. When Peony wanted something and put his mind to it, by hook or crook he'll get his way. "And he wants you to stay in the palace,"

"That man and his ridiculous whims…" Jade sighed, turning at the corner. "He needs to make someone else miserable to balance out his own."

"Maybe he just misses you?" Guy suggested as they went up the wide walkway to the ostentatious entrance.

"Unlikely. Plus he has his "cute little Jade" to keep him company," he muttered as Guy laughed, now in on the joke of Peony's oddly named rappigs. "Well, I'll see him soon enough. It was good to see you again, Gailardia," he said, offering his hand.

Guy just laughed, shaking firmly. "'Guy' is fine. Even after all this time, I'm still not used to the title."

It seems like a lot of people wanted to be known as something else, something familiar, to retain the sense of familiarity. Jade didn't blame them.

A maid showed him to a comfortably furnished room that was part of a rather elaborate suite. He set down his bags and drew all the curtains, plunging the room into darkness. Finally able to relax, he collapsed on the bed and thought no more.

Jade was awoken by a soft, but insistent knock, which he answered after the room stopped spinning so disgracefully. It was Peony, wheeling a dinner cart behind him with a roguish smile. "Room service?" he said glibly, pulling it in without giving Jade really a choice. "Sorry about earlier. There was some panic over an outbreak in northern Rugnica-people were quick to blame the Replica colony, but it really was just a case of rappig flu."

"Mm… It's becoming quite an issue, the replicas," Jade murmured, handing Peony a glass of wine.

"We're dealing with it," Peony said tiredly, hoping that they could solve it too. There were thousands of replicas left after the Tower of Rem incident and both kingdoms were struggling to control the population influx.

"All the more reason I should be at the lab instead of indulging your usual whims, Peony,"

"That's where you're wrong, Jade. You've been suffering, haven't you?" Peony asked, with a grave expression. "You didn't look good at all six months ago and you simply look worse,"

"Ouch. Is my age showing that badly?" He tried to be aloof, unwilling to agree.

"It's not your age. But you just look… sick," Peony finished lamely, unsure of how to describe it. It was a bad feeling he got every time he stole a glance at Jade and saw the strange hollow look in his eyes, the occasional expressions of pain, and the almost unearthly pallor.

"I daresay you are simply trying to draw attention away from your own problems, Peony. You brought me here so you can bring me to parties and have a built in conversation piece, didn't you?"

Peony tried to look affronted, but only managed to laugh at that. "You have to admit, it works most of the time. Now that you're even working on the Stablization Project, I can direct any questions to you- Jade?" His friend was doubled over, gasping in pain. "What's wrong!?" he rushed over to him, his worst fears floating to the surface of his mind.

"N-nothing," Jade gritted out, the blinding pain trying to claw its way out through his eye sockets, or so it felt. "Just turn off the lamps, please," He heard Peony get up to turn them all off, one by one, lessening the pain by a fraction.

"I'll call the doctor-"

"No!" Jade said harshly, daring to open his eyes for a second. "I'll be fine. It's just a headache,"

A normal headache doesn't make you convulse, Peony wanted to say, but he just silently helped his friend out of his seat, guiding him to the edge of the bed. "I just need to rest," Jade panted, just barely able to make out the other's face in the darkness. He felt a pang of guilt at Peony's worried expression- really, it wasn't worth it. And if he had known it would be the last thing he saw- well, some things just couldn't be helped.

His internal clock told him it was long past dawn, but when he awoke it was still dark. Not the blurry, half lit darkness of a room at night, but darkness like the winters that would swallow up the mountains back home.

"Jade, are you awake?" Peony called out anxiously to him, somewhere he couldn't see.

"Where are you," He mumbled sleepily. "What time is it…? I can't see you-"

"Jade." The alarm in his voice drove the point home. "I'm right here-"

"I can't see." He finished.

"What?

"I'm blind."

It was a silence worse than the darkness- Jade could practically see the face Peony was making- equal parts concern and shock, probably mixed in with anger.

And disbelief. "That's impossible," Peony said, grasping the other's shoulders, unceremoniously pulling him into a seated position. "You could see fine just yesterday-"

"My vision has been coming and going for awhile now," Jade said calmly, since at least one of them should be.

"How long?" Peony asked quietly, his grip subconsciously tightening around Jade's shoulders.

"Eight to nine months."

"Why on Auldrant didn't you see a doctor?" Peony shouted, about to lose it.

"Peony. I'm not an idiot. Of course I saw one- Just not one that would report it immediately to you. Yes I know about those orders. At any rate, he couldn't find anything to reverse it, and neither could I."

"Reverse… what? You know what's wrong?"

"Do I have to reiterate that fact I am not an idiot? A few months ago I noticed my irises changing color,"

Indeed, they were more of a murky brown than the usual crimson. Peony wanted to kick himself for not realizing it and then kick Jade for not telling him earlier.

"It's the operation I performed on myself as a child. I wanted to intensify my capacity as a fonist and altered the fonslots of my eyes. It was risky and I could have blinded myself,"

"And now you have," Peony said hoarsely, unaware of how his hands were shaking.

"No. I completed that operation perfectly. But then there was the fonslot seal- remember? I was pressed for time to undo that and since it was designed to be permanent, I damaged my fonslots because I reopened them a little too vigorously," he explained in his typical didactic tone, as if simply lecturing on theory. "The worst were the ones in my eyes, which were the first to be contaminated, as you can see. Pun unintended,"

"This is hardly the time to joke-"

"Please, Peony, don't make such a big deal out of this. As long as I don't use any fonic artes, the development of symptoms should be relatively slow," Jade said dryly, placing his hands over the shaking ones on his shoulder in an unprecedented act of personal affection.

"Relative? Relative to _what_?" Peony asked hoarsely, "What's next?"

"I don't know. My senses, one by one, basic motor skills, cognition-" Jade automatically rattled off what he'll lose, only aware of the pain he was inflicting when his hand brushed the other's face by accident, coming away wet with tears. "Peony. I don't need you to feel sorry for me-"

"Then who will, Jade, who will worry about you?" he said, sounding strained.

"I want to be alone right now," Jade replied quietly, lips pressed in a thin line of displeasure.

"Stop trying to shut me out, you always do, you did it to Nephry and then you did it to Saphir but so help me I will not let you-"

"Please, your highness," his tone was cold and his gaze unseeing, as he leaned back against the headrest, not saying another word.

"Jade… I'm not done. I'm going to go because you asked, and then I am going to come back,"

Jade felt the weight shift on the bed and the door lock and was suddenly alone. At the very least the migraines had left with his vision. He wasn't sure if he could deal with both, as he got up slowly, feeling his way around the unfamiliar room. Swearing as he bumped into the table, his hand brushed the wall which he clung to like a piece of driftwood in the ocean. Following the gentle curve with his hand, he found the door which Peony had locked. He could have easily shattered it with an arte, but recalled what he told Peony and decided against it. Instead, he broke the lock with a heavy statuette he remembered was on the bureau. Freed, he tried to orient himself. As a soldier, he was trained for situations with limited visibility. Of course, it didn't include complete blindness, but it wouldn't stop him. The only sounds he could hear were his own footsteps and that suited him just fine.

Forty five minutes and one frightened maid later, he was standing out in the sun. Not that he could see, but the touch of sunlight was unmistakable, as were the boisterous sounds of the city coming alive. Jostled and pushed around, he made his way through the markets, by ear and strangers, to the port, where the sound of the ships and the sea came up to greet him with the salty taste of the air. One of these ships was heading south, but what did that matter? How would he be able to atone like this? For what purpose did he drag himself out here? In the midst of his questions, someone grabbed his arm abruptly.

Later that evening, when Peony has to explain he fell down some stairs and cut his forehead, Jade will apologize and explain it was merely his reflexes as a soldier that made him twist Peony's arm behind his back and force him to the ground. Peony will only comment that for a blind man, Jade has very good aim. And that he is probably the only man to punch the emperor in the face and not be incarcerated. Jade will ask how many people have been incarcerated for that and they will both laugh because there weren't many things to laugh about at the time and probably fewer in the future.

That night, they sat side by side, as the dull roar of the waterfall hung in the background.

"Jade… I want you to stay,"

"I couldn't possibly do that. Just because I can't see doesn't mean I can't continue my research- I'll find a way, get an aide, or something-"

"Jade!" Peony was openly pleading with him, for all his titles and influence, none of it was working on his dear friend. "You can't. You absolutely, simply can't,"

"They need me," Jade said plaintively.

Think about who else needs you, Peony wanted to scream. He wanted to shake Jade, shake him until he understood that he couldn't lose Jade again. There didn't seem to be words enough, so he had to settle for actions.

Like when Peony grasped his hand at the dock, the kiss was a surprise he wasn't ready for. But unlike at the dock, there wasn't a built in reflex he could rely upon. There was just this closeness that was both pleasant and horrible in the sense that he certainly enjoyed it but the circumstances were less than optimal. Physical intimacy was never a priority nor much an interest, but he was having second thoughts as Peony leaned in, those familiar fingers entangled in his hair. He reached out clumsily, finding the other's face, awkwardly grasping his cheeks.

"This is rather unconventional," He murmured as Peony pulled away slowly, thoughts flaring in his mind like so many fireworks, but always leaving him in the dark again.

"Maybe," he muttered, pulling him close again. "It doesn't matter. Please Jade," Peony begged, willing to trade the riches of the world for this one night. "I want-"

"Just be careful," his friend whispered with a hint of a smile in his words.

In the face of the circumstances, his words were mostly unheeded. There was just too much of him, of Jade, everywhere, filling the parts of his being he didn't know were so empty. Jade, of course, was as responsive as a blind man with little to no sexual experience would be, but with a little encouragement they managed just fine.

There were a lot of senses, Jade knew, besides simply sight, and while he wished he could see, his inability lent an embellishment to what he had left. It didn't take a blind man to see (rather, feel) Peony's impatience, yet the man was holding back for his sake. However, gentle consideration was not what he needed at the moment and it cheered the other a little when he informed him of this. So it was rough. It was impatience and frustration and _need_ all rolled up into one. It was the sight of Jade's bare throat, of the quietest sounds he made when Peony kissed him, and of the louder ones Jade made when he climaxed.

It was a night where all bets were off and everything was on the table. They dug deeper and deeper into each other as they were flanked by their own worries and thoughts. Mortality could really put the flame out of a moment, but for them it merely fueled their desire to find a place above it. A place where all of it was boiled down to the sensation of skin and terror and the scent of musk and desperation, and at that point, neither would have it any other way.

It was a different story in the morning. As they disentangled themselves from the way they left each other the previous night, a damage assessment was taken. Visually, by Peony who remarked not without a little smugness of the state the other was in, and by level of soreness and level of inappropriateness in what part of his body, by Jade. Overall, it wasn't a bad night.


	3. Chapter 3

3 months later

The days, they come and go. In the tumult of the events that came to pass- civil unrest exacerbated by the situation of the replicas, internal turmoil in the ranks of the government, and his best friend's failing health, the nights Peony stole in between were his only outlet. He could forget himself and forget the world when he was wrapped up in everything that was Jade, but he couldn't forget his friend and his problems in the least. Already there were instances when they had to break it off early or Jade's expression was too pained to let Peony continue- at least he was glad only one of them could see it.

"And I told him, if he wanted the replicas out of Grand Chokmah he'd have to carry each and every one of them out on his back," Peony shouted at the invisible nobleman he had a heated argument the other night with, as Jade laughed appreciatively, seated on the other side of the table.

"So, I take it the situation hasn't improved," Jade remarked, gingerly finding the handle to his coffee cup. He could barely make out the faint aroma- it was rare to smell or taste anything these days. But Jade kept this development to himself- Peony didn't have to know exactly how quickly the symptoms were progressing.

However, Peony knew. It didn't take a genius to notice when someone's sense of smell or taste was going, however Jade was deceptively good at figuring out food by texture and giving a vague but acceptable description of it. Eventually, they had to address it.

"How is the gratin?" Peony asked over dinner, which was rare for them to have together on account of their respective circumstances.

"Fine, as usual," Jade replied, smiling reassuringly. He had to take Peony's word it was gratin, because it wasn't until he couldn't taste anything that he realized a lot of foods were similar to gratin.

"Hmm, I don't know, something seems off… Maybe they are trying new spices," Peony said suggestively, obviously leaning in to gauge Jade's reaction. His friend merely sighed, putting down his fork.

"You can stop trying to trap me into admitting I can't taste anything, because I am doing it right now," he said quietly, folding his napkin into quarters.

"Or smell," Peony added.

"Thankfully," Jade said wryly, gingerly picking up his wineglass.

"Be serious Jade!"

"Actually no, that one isn't completely gone, at least not yet," he clarified. "That doesn't mean you should keep burning that incense you brought last week, it was awful and made my eyes sting,"

"Duly noted," Peony replied, sounding downcast. "So then, what's next? Wait- I really don't want to know,"

"I don't know either, so I suppose it works out. It will have to be a surprise," Jade said with a false tone of casual aloofness, which he thought would assuage the other, but apparently only irritated him more.

"Why are you doing this, Jade?!" Peony exclaimed as the table shook where he slammed it. "Why do you insist on being so glib and- and so _snarky_ when you don't have to. You don't have to pretend Jade, that you're okay, or this isn't a big deal, and it's okay to just… show it. Just show how you feel, don't cover it up with wisecracks and sarcastic comments,"

Jade mulled over this while he finished his wine, setting the empty glass back down. "I think I'm going to bed early," he said, getting up carefully.

"Oh come on!" Peony exclaimed, rising out of his seat, "How are you going to even get-" and damn him, if that bastard didn't memorize the steps back to the bedroom and remembered to shut the door and lock it behind him too. "Jade, you're being ridiculous!" But so am I, he finished silently, straining to hear the other through the door. "Let's just forget about everything I said, okay?"

Silence. Either Jade was ignoring him or he lost his hearing too. "Are you deaf now?"

"Please leave me alone."

So it wasn't the latter. "I can't leave you alone, you know that. Listen, no wait, _ I_ will listen. To whatever you have to say. Whether you want to just be you, or be something else it doesn't matter as long as I'm with you," he sighed, leaning heavily on the door. "Please? You have the head of the largest Empire on Auldrant begging like a needy rappig- that doesn't do anything for yo-"

They both learned lessons that night: one learned to be more open of the concerns he should rightly have and the other not to lean on doors that open in the direction of said leaning. But toppling to the floor on top of his unsuspecting friend was not such a bad end to a hard lesson, after the routine check for head trauma.

"I thought you said you were going to listen to me," Jade remarked breathlessly as Peony finally broke for air- he was already halfway out of his clothes after taking all of Jade's off.

"I am," he replied, "I'm going to listen to you _moan_," he growled playfully, more relieved than he could have ever thought when Jade finally laughed at that.

"You put up just as bad of a front as I do," Jade said, and damn him when Peony couldn't disagree. It was so hard not to be selfish and greedy for every moment- because he didn't know which would be the last. Some had passed already, without warning- the last time Jade saw him, for example, and he was reluctant to let more slip past. The thought of what they would lose next was always right behind him, chasing him down and Jade could feel it, as readily as the warm, responsive body on top of his. Jade knew Peony was terrified, and in the end that drove him to hide his own fear.

But once they both decided to let all of that go, it was simple. As simple as flight or fight. And they chose to fight.

"You have a visitor, so hurry up and get dressed," Peony's voice cut through the haze of sleep that shrouded his mind. Jade groaned, reaching out beside him for the change of clothes that was always set out on the nightstand. "Who is it," he asked, turning around so Peony could tie back his hair. It was simple and routine and Jade could live with it. And though he'd loathe admitting it, the simple contact of the other's fingers raking through his hair, gathering it at the nape of his neck and tying it carefully was a part of his morning he needed to occur.

"A surprise,"

Jade hated surprises.


	4. Chapter 4

But Guy's arrival wasn't truly a surprise, just a rather postponed expectation. Jade was seated comfortably in his favorite chair by the window when a familiar voice called to him.

"Jade!" A mix of apprehension and concern. "I haven't seen you since… Hell, why didn't you let me know sooner?" And a hint of indignance.

"Good to see you too, Guy," Jade replied, gesturing to the general direction of another chair. "I mean that only figuratively; as you know I can no longer see,"

"I gathered as much. But that isn't an excuse you know and the others have to know soon as well,"

"What is there to know?" Jade asked, "Everyone has been doing well since I last heard-"

"That's not the point Jade. Even if everyone is doing well, we all still miss you. Even your acidic commentary,"

Jade found it hard to believe, but also strangely convincing. "I'm sure I'll see them all eventually. I suppose now that you're here the news will spread fairly quickly that I'm on my deathbed,"

"Do you _not_ want me to tell the others?" Guy said incredulously. "This isn't like a cold or anything Jade, this…"

As Jade suspected, he couldn't say it. For all the younger man's maturity, he was pinned by the inherent fear of losing those close to him.

"Yes, this is terminal. But then again, isn't living a terminal state?"

Guy did not appreciate this remark, instead opting to sigh heavily and surprise the other by taking his hand. "That's not the point and you know it. I really admire you, Jade. You were always the one who was able to do what no one else could, even if at the time it seemed harsh or cruel. But it was because you knew what the world was really like, didn't you? You know it is cruel and unfair, just like many of the choices we have to make,"

"Well, I'm glad that someone learned a thing or two," Jade replied, rather touched by Guy's acknowledgment. Of course he knew what it meant to make the unpopular decisions- usually it was never as dramatic as losing one life to save thousands- too many times in the military it was losing one to save two, or three.

Jade felt the other squeeze his hand gently, before drawing away. "I don't want to tire you out-"

"Please. Only Peony does that these days and he doesn't care at all. It was good of you to visit," Jade said, smiling gently. "Do take care of yourself and try not to get into too many scandals,"

Guy laughed easily, about to remark that Jade was probably embroiled in the biggest scandal of the year. But he kept it to himself- just like the thoughts of how different Jade seemed to be. It was both unnerving and a relief to see that the colonel could smile as well as smirk, but at the same time, Guy wasn't sure if he were in Jade's position that he would be able to smile at all. And in the end, the fact he could smile in the face of the circumstances meant Jade was really the same after all.

They parted on good terms, as Guy left him with the expectation of more visitors in the coming weeks. When Peony returned Jade knew he was anxious and probably very tired from hovering outside the room during his visit.

"How was it? You aren't too tired, right? He really did miss you, you know. Thought if you don't want to see anyone-"

"Peony." Jade cut him off there. "You can stop your incessant coddling, because it becomes quite oppressive. I was glad he visited and no, I am not too tired,"

"Good, because I was waiting to do this all day-" Their lips met as Jade's curled faintly into a smile against the other's mouth, content.

He entertained a variety of visitors over the next few weeks- Natalia stopped once to offer condolences, which Jade politely refused, and news on the political state of the world, which he accepted graciously. Tear and Luke came on a fine spring day- she graciously sang for them, and they all had a pleasant afternoon on the balcony reminiscing about their journey. The world was changing, bit by bit, for better or worse. Anise's visit was more rambunctious, she eagerly filled him in on all the reforms of the Order, her parents, a certain Cantor she was smitten with, and Jade was surprised how much her company eased the chronic heaviness in his chest. In the end, she departed in tears, pushing a familiar stuffed friend into his lap. "Don't neglect him," she said before leaving. And he didn't. There were only a few more people left he expected to see.

For one, his sister, who arrived a week after Anise and Florian left. After Jade assuaged her initial alarm, they spent a very pleasant weekend together, reminiscing. Even Peony joined them, eager to bring up the stories of their misadventures. Before she left, she made him offer.

"Jade, why don't you come back to Keterburg? You should stay with family-"

Jade's hand shot out to grab Peony's in warning- he would handle this.

"Thank you, Nephry, but I couldn't possibly impose on you like that," he raised his hand to interrupt her, cutting her off at 'but you're my brother'. "Also, I am perfectly comfortable here and intend to stay,"

"Well, you should at least plan to visit once before you…" Nephry couldn't finish that sentence, trailing off as the words left unsaid pained her so.

"I will make arrangements," Jade replied, and that was that.


	5. Chapter 5

The spring he had arrived in soon slipped into summer. Nightly, the sweet summer air hovered right outside the window, making Jade noticeably restless. The only time he spent out of his quarters was the balcony garden and he wanted to go out for once. Peony, who was sick of being badgered for his lack of public appearances as of late, decided to kill two birds with one stone.

"I don't think this is a good idea, Peony," Jade said, fidgeting as the other adjusted the front of his jacket.

"Of course it's a good idea- you don't want to be cooped up and I need to make a public appearance, so why not attend a function together? You haven't been to one in years," Peony replied, standing back to admire his handiwork. Under normal circumstances, Jade would be in a military dress uniform (which coincidentally, he hated wearing), but tonight Peony wanted to keep things low key and anonymous. He felt a pang of guilt for dragging Jade into this, but felt entitled to indulge in a minor selfishness. Also, the rich blue of Malkuth suited Jade exceptionally well- finished with a simple white trim and lining, as a result of Jade's rejection of gold. His long brown hair was left down as well, simply brushed gently to frame his face.

"All right, but just this one," Jade grudgingly conceded.

It was some ridiculously posh affair held outdoors at a noble's estate. Peony helped him slip unobtrusively into the party, while he himself had to be formally announced, which kept him from reaching the table Jade was seated at for awhile. Peony had shaken a hundred hands when he only wanted to hold one and thrown a dozen careless smiles while he wished to see Jade's.

"Did you fall from the fonbelt, because you are out of this world,"

"Peony, where did you learn such atrocious pick up lines?" Jade replied easily as the other swore, wondering how Jade would react if someone else hit on him.

"I'm a natural, just like my hair color and I can prove it-"

"Peony, I hope you aren't wearing white, because I will dump this on you like any self respecting person would when faced with such verbal horror," Jade said easily, tilting his wineglass playfully.

"You are absolutely heartless, you know that?" Peony was glad to see Jade in a new setting, but simultaneously worried. "This isn't too tiring, right? I've done my job, so we aren't under any obligation to stay-"

"I haven't done much more than sit here, so needless to say I am not too tired," Jade reassured him, setting his glass down. True, his stamina was weakening day by day, but he allowed himself to be swept away by the delicate music and the perfumed summer breeze. Speaking of being swept away, without warning Peony had taken his hand, guiding him out of his seat.

"Let's dance, then,"

It was such a simple, easy suggestion, yet utterly laughable. "I don't dance,"

"Yes, you do," Peony insisted. "I've seen you- remember the Marquis' winter ball? That was impressive-"

"And at the Marquis' winter ball I could see and the Emperor was not my partner,"

"So, this is an improvement on two counts," Peony replied playfully, easily leading him out to the floor, hand soft on his waist. He kept his voice low as to not interfere with the music. "You know the song and the steps, right?"

Jade simply nodded, the strains of music bringing it back to him, slowly, bit by bit. The memories of the past, of this very song, played in the palace itself for Peony's 30th birthday. The crowd was even more formidable than here, but he distinctly remembers seeing him- his friend and his emperor, somewhere across the hall, surrounded by people who outranked him by miles. At the time, there was an unfamiliar pang in his chest, an unnamable emotion that rose to his throat when he watched the other raise his glass. He always told himself it was just a fleeting illusion- the idea that as Jade raised his glass silently with him, Peony had saw him, and smiled. He didn't get a chance to greet his friend that night.

That memory burned in his mind as he was guided expertly in the dance, never one step behind and perfectly timed with the music. Peony would subtly signal a sudden turn with a squeeze of his hand- and they flew. They flew together as one to a song whose words have been stolen by time. Peony sincerely wished Jade could see the look on the faces of some of these people. He'd have to settle for the less than subtle murmurs that would make it to the gossip circles before the next song started.

"Maybe we should have been more discreet," Jade whispered, perfectly capable of hearing when people are not trying to be conspicuous.

"I don't know what else we could have done, short of putting you in a dress. Hey, would you have-"

"No."

"Shame," Peony said wickedly, leading him out a little before the song ended. Formality be damned, after this, everyone knew who he was and what party he attended. What he hoped was that Jade remained anonymous, just a ghost that will never surface again in the social circles of-

_Ghost._

"Are you all right?" Jade asked, feeling the other shiver. He was exhausted himself, but couldn't bring himself to feel it, just letting the adrenaline of the night sing in his blood.

"Just fine."

They were out in the night, away from the tumult of noise and people. Peony couldn't help but notice how flushed his friend was, how quickly he was breathing- panting, from exertion, under the dim glow of a street light. He forced him to take a seat, undoing the high collar on his jacket.

"Slow down there, let's just sit and relax,"

He tugged a few more buttons open, revealing that pale throat and the fading bruise lingering above the smooth line of his collar bone. He brushed his fingers along his neck, a little too warm even in the heat. "We should head back now-"

Already, many things unexpected things happened tonight. The kiss they shared on the street was one of them if only for the fact Jade initiated, rather enthusiastically, to Peony's delight. Jade had grasped the other's shoulders, pulling him closer into a simple, yet eager kiss. Reminiscent of their first night- too much pent up energy with no outlet and desperation biting at their heels- Peony could feel the other's heartbeat beneath his fingertips. But there was also a playful element in the way Jade half moaned into his mouth, lips parting before Peony's, which was unprecedented.

"Is it my birthday?" Peony asked with a touch of glee.

"Speaking of which," Jade murmured, shifting to straddle the other's lap, "Do you remember the party they held for your thirtieth birthday-"

"You were wearing your captain's uniform, the white one with the gold accents," Peony replied without missing a beat, teeth grazing Jade's ear. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," he lied smoothly, having gotten his answer. Peony let it go and just drifted away in the summer dance he never wanted to end.

Jade woke up the next morning with a fever, confining him to bed. Unfortunately that meant he was forced to listen to Peony relentlessly berate himself.

"This isn't your fault and so you should really calm down," Jade said hoarsely.

"I should have taken you straight home- no, maybe it was a mistake to have attended at all-"

"Peony."

"What?"

"Just shut up." Jade sank back into the pillows tiredly. "I just need some rest and _quiet_," he emphasized.

"Do you want more tea?"

"No."

"Do you want another pillow?"

"No."

"Do you want to use my body as a-"

"No."

"What _do_ you want then?" Peony said, clearly exasperated with his patient who refused to be properly coddled.

"Nothing."

Jade could practically hear him sulk. Peony couldn't help but put the blame upon himself for Jade catching a cold. Jade refrained from informing him of how ridiculous this train of thought was, but instead thought of something he could do to assuage his misbegotten guilt.

"Fine… Will you read to me?"

"O-of course," Peony replied, sounding a little surprised, but pleased as well. "What do you want to read?"

Jade shrugged. "I didn't bring any books with me, so anything you want is fine,"

"Let me go to the library and get something then," he said quickly, "Don't fall asleep on me."

Peony returned a few minutes later, pulling a chair up to the bedside.

"You didn't pick out a harlequin romance, did you?" Jade asked softly as Peony just laughed and told him no and began reading. The tale started out simply enough- a prince in a faraway land was forced to flee his country and take residence in a tiny village off the coast.

"Where have I heard this one before," Jade mused quietly.

"Just shut up and listen, okay?"

And he did. Peony promised to read the next chapter the next night, and let Jade drift into sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

It took a whole month for Jade to recover and even then it was obvious he wasn't the same as before he fell ill. Despite the light daily exercise he did, his constitution was weakening. Only through their daily routine were they able to retain an illusion of permanence, normalcy, and peace. Jade would wake up on his own accord at the same time every morning and Peony would brush and tie his hair. He would spend most of the day out on the balcony or indoors listening to music. Peony would be occupied with the affairs of state until he came back to Jade in the evening and they would eat and the night would progress as it would. Sometimes it was just silence together, other times Jade would ask Peony to read to him and he would always comply.

The story was getting interesting after all, where the secret prince had befriended a boy from the village who were being trained by the village witch. Magic was strictly forbidden and the risk she took in teaching it to them was her downfall. The brother had unwisely cast a spell when provoked by a villager and the witch gave up her life to protect him. He decided to help the prince regain his throne, so that magic wouldn't be forbidden any longer.

Jade knew a lot about risks and what was to come.

In the end, even the routine couldn't hold back the inevitable, no more than it could hold back the shortening of the days and the turn of the season. Autumn was upon them, and a chilly breeze blew over the waters surrounding Grand Chokmah. Peony refused to let Jade sit outside for prolonged periods of time, keeping him occupied with clever puzzles made out of metal and wood. And there was always the story.

"How far are through his book are we?" Jade asked one night, desperate for a distraction. He was having trouble keeping his food down, not to mention the sheer exhaustion it took to stand. A few weeks ago Peony acquired a wheelchair for him, but he hated the damn thing for what it made him: an invalid. But it was the only way to travel now, short of Peony carrying him, which the other had been gracious enough to offer.

"Oh, about halfway, I'd say," Peony replied that night after the prince and his friend, who had grown up to be a magician, were travelling back to his former Kingdom. On their way, they had discovered magic was banned because of an evil warlock, who wanted to hoard the power for himself, was controlling the man who usurped the Prince's rightful throne.

The next night, Peony helped Jade into the large ceramic bathtub that was already filled halfway with steaming water. Jade hissed at the touch of the water, but waited silently as Peony gently massaged his scalp, working the fragrant soap into the strands of his brown hair.

"When is the water going to warm up?" Jade asked quietly, just barely trembling.

"Huh?" Peony tested the water with his hand- it was already hot, but he turned the tap all the way, pressing a soaked towel to the other's neck. "Is it warm yet?"

Jade shook his head, gasping lightly at that touch- it didn't feel hot nor cold, there was only the numbness that made his body feel like it wasn't his at all. He could hear Peony swear rather creatively- the water must be scalding by now. "Forget it," he said softly, "It won't last too long,"

Abruptly, he was being kissed and none too gently. The only intent behind it was to try and make him _feel_ and while Jade appreciated the sentiment, he wasn't sure if practically climbing into the tub with him- fully clothed, mind you- was the best course of action. Of course he said none of this and merely pulled the other closer- at least the tub was spacious enough to allow Peony to do this- and tried to remember what heat was like.

They stayed entwined in the rapidly cooling bathwater until it really had gone cold and Peony got most of the soap suds out of Jade's hair. Jade had his back to one end, leaning back on it for support, while still trying to accommodate the other's presence. Peony grasped his hands, wishing he could somehow make him feel again, regardless of the cost.

After awhile, Jade began to shiver, but this time because he felt the cold. There were the sighs of relief and Jade had never been happier to cry, if only for the warmth of his tears- and Peony's, mingling together. It felt as if they had stolen a little time back, just enough to see the end.

--

Peony read to him again, later that evening, while he was wrapped up in a ridiculous amount of blankets. The magician was able to defeat the evil warlock, thus restoring his friend's proper place. However, with his dying breath the warlock cursed the young magician- and ancient, powerful curse to slowly steal away his life, so that he will not see the spring to come. His friend- the former prince, now King, was grief stricken and sought a way to break the curse since he felt partially responsible. The story was paused here for the night and Peony shut the book quietly- he couldn't quite tell if Jade was asleep or not.

"I have to go to Keterburg," Jade announced suddenly, startling the other. Jade was remarkably talented at that.

"Okay," Peony agreed reluctantly. If Jade wanted to return to Keterburg, it was to finally wrap up his affairs and he would only do that if his time was running short. There was also that last visit he could only make there. "On one condition,"

"What?"

"Marry me."

"What?" Jade started to laugh, but it quickly turned into a minor coughing fit. As it subsided, he managed to ask, "Why?"

"Why not?" Peony shrugged.

"Because it's impractical," Jade replied pragmatically.

"How so?"

"For one, you are still the emperor, and- let me finish," Jade shushed the other before he could protest, "You will be a widower. If that gets out, it could damage you politically, it might hinder your future prospects, and so on,"

"Just shut up, Jade," Peony mumbled, "We'll take the ferry in the morning."


	7. Chapter 7

The only upside to the general numbness that lasted most of the day was that it mitigated the bitter cold of Keterburg in winter. It was only midday and dark out when the door to the solitary confinement cell at the Keterburg penitentiary opened for the first time in six months.

"Who's there?" the cell's occupant sneered half heartedly, straining to see in the unlit darkness of his cell. He heard the door shut and lock again as a fon lamp was lit, casting a weak glow.

"Hello, Saphir,"

Hearing his former name shocked him back into reality because at first he thought this was another hallucination- that his former friend was visiting him. Saphir knew that he himself did not look his best- prison took its toll on him- but it didn't compare to the Jade's state.

"H-hello," he started nervously, wondering what sort of cruel, cosmic joke was being played on him. Jade was in a wheelchair, for goodness sake. Instead of a uniform he was wearing civilian clothes and a plain blanket spread over his lap. And his glasses were gone, in fact, his eyes were closed-

"How have you been?" Jade asked easily, throwing the other off.

"Prison is prison," Saphir said as casually as he could manage, still unsure of what was going on at all. "You… Are you sick?" he blurted out, shrinking back in embarrassment. This was the man who single handedly ruined his life and he was inquiring about his _health_? He really should just chase him out, but the cell door was locked… Why would the warden do that anyway?

Jade laughed, though its sound was unfamiliar to Saphir. To him, Jade's laughter always contained an element of cruelty alongside mirth, but this laugh was simply resigned. "You could put it that way. Last stages of fonslot contamination, I'm afraid," Jade said simply, relieved he didn't have to explain it all to the other.

"How?" Saphir asked, suddenly sick to his stomach.

"It seems I was a little careless breaking that fon-slot seal… it went for my eyes first, which I assume is because of the self-inflicted adjustments I made,"

"When?"

"You remember, we were about eight-"

"No! I mean when did you find out?" Saphir shouted, perhaps a little louder than he should have. But he couldn't help it, the knot in his stomach was just tightening as each minute passed, chilling his blood.

"Spring,"

Saphir took a moment to count the months before bursting out incredulously, "You waited _this long_ to come and see me? You're unbelievable, Jade, but of course I expected as much from… from someone like you!" he spat, the heat rising to his face.

"I don't know what difference it would have made," Jade said quietly, looking so infuriatingly frail- he didn't have the right to look so _weak_, Saphir thought. Jade had always been a fixture, however unpleasant at times, in his life, and he wasn't sure how he was suppose to face a future without it. Brilliant beyond comparison- that was what Jade was. Not quiet, not resigned, not crippled, not _dying_.

"Well for one," Saphir said bitterly, "You more or less left me to rot in here and it might have made me happier to know you are getting what you deserve." He knew full well how hateful those words were, but Jade deserved it. Didn't he?

"Speaking of, I've arranged for your parole. I know you couldn't obtain one without someone to vouch for you, so I went ahead and signed the papers. Of course, if you screw up and end up back here after I'm gone, you're out of luck,"

_After I'm gone_

Freedom.

Saphir almost cried out of frustration- once again he was being jerked around from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other and once again it was all this four eyed bastard's fault. Everything was his fault. Or so he tried to think, but then wished he could take it all back, because no matter what Jade may have done, he didn't want to be left alone.

"Why?" _Why would you do this for me?_

Jade looked thoughtful, choosing his words carefully. "Because keeping you here is a waste of resources. There are problems out there and after myself, I can't recommend anyone else to solve them," he said evenly, giving Saphir probably the closest thing to a compliment for the first time in a decade.

Saphir bit his tongue, holding back the pleas that threatened to spill out. Don't leave me, don't give up, don't look like that-but it was all useless. He couldn't help thinking Jade came to him at this time because he didn't want to hear any of that. It's the same as when he finally gave up on bringing back the Professor- and once again, Saphir couldn't do anything about it.

As if sensing his despair, Jade told him simply, "Come here."

Saphir hoped his legs could carry him those three short steps- they were shaking so badly he really wasn't sure. Jade motioned for him to lean down, before awkwardly embracing him, his motions stiff and uncoordinated. At this, Saphir broke down, knees giving out beneath him, his thin body shaking with sobs. His voice was muffled somewhat by the blanket he chose to bury his face in, the same covering Jade's lap. The bridge of his glasses was digging painfully into his nose, but when he felt trembling fingers run slowly through his hair, he couldn't care less.

Eventually, he calmed down; at least enough to wipe his nose and stand on his own. Someone knocked on the cell door, indicating it was time for Jade to leave.

"Your parole starts tomorrow morning," Jade informed him as someone gently wheeled him out. Saphir tried to find the words he wanted to say before his last chance disappeared.

"I'm sorry, Jade!"

"I know."


	8. Chapter 8

It was snowing the morning Jade finally lost his hearing. Of course, he was in Keterburg and it was always snowing. On top of everything, he just felt so _tired_. Peony had been reading to him- his voice growing more and more distant, but Jade clung relentlessly to every word. The prince had crossed the world and back to break the curse- braving the deep of the sea and the cunning of thieves. But he was nearly out of time, especially after an early frost struck while he was making the dangerous mountain passage. He didn't know if he could make it in time… but he had to.

"Peony?" he called out hoarsely, feeling the other grasp his hand. The world had gone silent aside from the barely audible sound of his own blood, pounding in his ears. "I'm sorry," Jade whispered, holding his palm out to him. "It seems that I won't be able to hear the end of the story,"

I-T-S O-K, Peony traced on his hand, mouthing the words silently. But it wasn't. Jade deserved to hear the end- Peony's thoughts drifted to that book he kept on the nightstand for show, each and every one of its pages blank. The tale had come entirely from himself- but it was Jade's story and Peony didn't have the heart to finish it for him. He was sure Jade knew from the second chapter it wasn't a real book, but was willing to humored him. Jade was always doing that-humoring people, distracting them with his words to throw them off the trail that led to his own sufferings.

"Even so…" Jade trailed off, overcome with exhaustion. "The prince saved him, didn't he?"

Peony traced a 'Y' on his hand shakily. It wasn't fair for him to leave like this; he still needed to tell Jade- needed to make him understand how much he loved him.

"I knew he would," Jade replied. He tried to ask what became of them, but at that moment his voice finally gave out.

However, it seemed Jade did understand. It was simply his nature not to let on that he understood more than people expected from him. Peony began to trace something quickly on his hand, but Jade couldn't feel enough of the letters. But it was the thought that counted, right?

His hand slid out of Peony's, falling to his side.

"They lived happily ever after, Jade."

Jade Curtiss' last words were a smile.

"The End."


End file.
